Funny Retirement Message

Retirement is a period of life when people get a lot of time to relax, enjoy and do what they could. Most people spend their entire lives planning their expected retirement and when it comes, they need appreciation from near and dear ones as the fun time begins. If you have some funny and simple retirement wishes to add along with to add some extra happiness, then let these funny retirement wishes and humorous retirement messages infect some funny feelings right now. Whatever he / she these funny retirement quotes and messages for your coworker, boss, friend, parents, grandparents or any close neighbor, will make them cheerful and bring a sweet smile on their face. Enjoy reading these fun retirement wishes and messages to make your best wishes and wish you a happy retirement.

  • Happy retirement to you.
    I wish to advice you not to try 
    and cram too many activities 
    into a short span of time. 
    You have no deadlines to beat, 
    no bosses to impress and 
    no customers to satisfy 
    so take your time 
    and just relax.

  • Have a happy retirement and
    try not to take life too seriously.
    After all, for all the years
    that you were working 
    you took things easy. 
    Why should you change now?

  • All your life you sacrificed
    your health so you could 
    earn more money to retire happily.
    Now you’ll realize that 
    you’ll be spending all 
    the money to keep up your health. 
    Congratulations.

  • You are long past your 
    due date and it is time 
    for you to join the junk 
    yard of retirees. 
    Don’t worry, occasionally, 
    someone finds treasure in a 
    junk yard and who knows, 
    it may just be you. 
    Have a happy retirement.

  • After retirement 
    the body grows older,
    the heart grows fonder and
    the mind becomes younger.
    All the best at trying to
    handle an old body with 
    a young mind and fond heart.

  • Can you believe that finally
    from now on all days on 
    your calendar are marked as Sunday? 
    Enjoy them and may 
    you always have 
    a smile on your face.
    Happy retirement.

  • Retirement is the only thing 
    that will make you realize
    how you wasted all these,
    years trying to be mature 
    when you can get back to
    being a child at 
    the end of it all. 
    Have fun.

  • It is interesting to note that
    when people are giving 
    you retirement gifts there,
    is always a watch or a 
    clock as if to tell you that
    your time is up.
    Have a time free retirement.

  • Every day of your retired life 
    will feel like a happy Friday night.
    But it’s useless because being
    old will make you feel dull like
    Monday morning all the time.
    Happy retirement.

  • If you truly want to know
    if you will be missed when 
    you retire try telling people
    that the retirement has been 
    postponed and you will
    be coming back to work. 
    I bet you can hear a pin drop.
    Yap! Now you know.
    Have a happy retirement.

  • If we could all have the 
    same attitude you’ve had 
    these last days before retirement, 
    we’d all be a lot less
    stressed at work. 
    Nothing would get done 
    around here either, 
    but that’s not the point.

  • Now you get a new boss who knows
    about your true work ethic, 
    organizational skills, and excuses. 
    Spouses make the toughest bosses. 
    Good luck!

  • All these years you argued
    with your colleagues, juniors,
    managers, and your boss at work. 
    After retirement, 
    you will argue with 
    your grand-kids, children,
    and wife at home. 
    Life remains the same.

  • As I see it you have been
    practicing how to retire 
    and now the real thing is here.
    You are so good at it that there 
    should be no problem 
    taking up your new role. 
    Have a happy retirement.

  • You can be sure that your
    immediate junior only pretends
    that they will miss you
    when you retire. 
    Do not be fooled by that sad face. 
    This person is so busy counting 
    the minutes until they can take
    over your office space that 
    they wish you had even left earlier.
    Enjoy your retirement anyway.

  • You always cursed your body 
    when you were ill which made
    you miss an important 
    deadline at work. 
    Retirement is when you will
    finally curse yourself 
    for using an important deadline
    at work as an excuse for
    not taking care of
    your body all these years.

  • All your life you sacrificed 
    your health so you could earn
    more money to retire happily.
    Now you’ll realize that
    you’ll be spending all 
    the money to keep up your health. 
    Congratulations.

  • Your computer screensaver
    is a scene from Green Acres 
    so you can daydream about 
    that farm you always wanted. 
    Make best use of it, 
    have a happy retirement.

  • Happy retirement and my advice
    are that you do not try to 
    say that you are coming back 
    because you will be surprised 
    at people’s reactions. 
    No one will give back your office,
    not your parking space. 
    No one misses you that much.

  • When men reach their sixties
    and retire, they go to pieces.
    Women go right on cooking. 
    Gail Sheehy

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